This was a tight, atmospheric, and appropriately gross peek into the nightlife of a guy who’s just not very good at killing people.
The dry, sardonic tone matches the mood, and the final line is grade-A gallows humor.
Well done.
The only note I have is this line either needs a period in the middle or a lowercase a on “all.” Quick fix.
There he was All black and blue.
As a portal into your writing, this served its purpose well. I write in that self-deprecating, sardonic space too. It’s always good to find a kindred spirit.
This was a tight, atmospheric, and appropriately gross peek into the nightlife of a guy who’s just not very good at killing people.
The dry, sardonic tone matches the mood, and the final line is grade-A gallows humor.
Well done.
The only note I have is this line either needs a period in the middle or a lowercase a on “all.” Quick fix.
There he was All black and blue.
As a portal into your writing, this served its purpose well. I write in that self-deprecating, sardonic space too. It’s always good to find a kindred spirit.
I really appreciate the feedback! Very kind of you to take the time :)
You got it! I read a lot on here. Lots of good stuff. But it’s extra cool to find something that kind of harmonizes with my work.
Gonna dig into your stuff later this evening. I love the premise
Thanks! I hope you like it.